On the trip into town the other afternoon I overheard a conversation from the back seat that both thrilled me to the core and made me feel a momentary sadness because it will undoubtedly never be able to come true.  My boys were talking to each other about houses and town and all things family and I heard my youngest say..."I'm going to get big big big and then I am going to buy a house by mamas for me and Baby Grandma and hers going to live with me!!"
Aminal was quiet for a few minutes following this statement and then responded with, " well I'm going to buy one too and NANA and POP will live with me."
Baby Grandma so called because she stoops over a bit and is therefore smaller than their other grandma's.   She will be 90 at the end of October and it seems only fitting that my children should have such a strong connection with my grandma because she and Granddad always meant the world to me.   I spent more summers and school vacations than I can count traipsing around with them in their motor home and picking veggies from their garden.  I got my first bike at their house and only once I learned to ride there did my dad buy me one at home.  I digress though, I wanted to talk about the connection I think my children are so blessed to have with her.  Its the kind of unconditional love that every child needs.  That place where rules are meant to be broken and she is more likely to get on to me for reprimanding them than she is to ever tell them no.  
When she hears we are coming over she goes to the store to buy dirt.  No kidding plain old fashioned potting soil.  She dumps bags of it on her yard and then tells my boys to have at it.  As if they need an invitation.  I have given up stopping her.  Who in their right mind tells their 90 y/o grandma no??  They're fine she tells me....go go....we dont need you here.   
And for a few moments I would love to think she is right.  That she would still be the soft spoken, firm, in control person I grew up worshipping.  But then in conversation the truth is there.  She still may want to be that person, but I can hear the tired in her voice sometimes now.  The fear when she talks about having to retake her drivers test almost palpable.  It saddens me.  I dont know that I ever conveyed to her how very much she meant to me growing up.  I heard her tell someone one time that all us kids ever came was to see Granddad.  I regret now that I didnt correct her then, tell her that wasnt strictly true.  I loved my granddad theres no denying that, but she was the one who made my world go round.  She was the one I called when I was in trouble and I had locked myself in my moms bedroom when I was 5....begging her to come get me, and she did first thing the next morning right after her hair appointment.  

She's had the same hairstyle for as long as I can remember in my 30+ years.  And a standing appointment to get it done for that long as well.  Her house always smelled like frying chicken and clorox and Aqua Net hair spray.  It always frustrated me the blessing that my cousins had to live right in town with her and they didnt realize it.  And I wanted to see her every day and usually couldn't.  We lived a couple of hundred miles away and so the trip was much less frequent than I would have liked.  I was still there often though particularly if I could get her to come get me.  Ive seem most of Ark, Ok, TX KS, and MO from the bunk in the back of whatever motorhome they had at the time.  I cherish those summers and hope as they grow my kids will have similar memories with their grandparents.  For now its most meaningful to me that they have her.  I get particularly  sad watching my youngest though knowing that my Granddad would have been over the moon to love on these two little boys who have so much energy and love to share.  He would have been beside himself that my youngest is his spitting image with the exception of the blue eyes he gets from his daddy.  And that my oldest has a sense of humor and fun that would allow him to play his silly games and jokes.  They would have delighted together in driving me crazy(i dont take a joke well) 

We have been here for 2 1/2 days now.  I cant help but crack up.  Grandma has told everyone who will listen to her that JD is going to buy her a house to move in with him.  She also has told anyone who knows us that I have frozen her out of the house and how crazy I am to have turned on her A/C.  When we got here it was set on 87* and  turned off.  Never mind that its still in the 90's outside and sweat is pouring off of the rest of us.  And even at the hottest point the lowest I have turned her A/C(75*) is still blistering hot compared to the nice cool 70* I keep our house set at.  
The boys came dripping sweat in their hair and she asked me if they had taken a bath....um noooo grandma your house is a sauna....LOL

The grandma I grew up with would rather die than spend a dollar on toys and yet somehow everytime I bring my children, there are a 100 new toys and she gives them money and takes them to play video games at the pizza place.  I can still hear her asking when I was 13 or 14 what I wanted a dollar for and how I didnt need to be throwing away all my money.  This same woman has given my children three dollars worth of quarters and I think she was more upset than they were when I said they couldnt have any more becuase they weren't eating.  

I am so lucky to have had her such an integral part of my life for so long and the world is a better place because she has lived in it.  

Steff